Friday, 27 February 2009

Introducing: The Drop Kick - King of Technical Support


I haven't formatted my scummy Windows XP PC for well over two years now and it's getting pretty unbearable.

If I was a richer person then I would say that it was FUBAR and replace it (rich people don't need to understand the idea of spending several hours of your life wrestling to maintain your hardware), and if I had more time then I would just use some of it to fix the putrid tower of crud on my desk that now sounds like a woodpecker caught in the blades of a helicopter, saving myself hours of time in the long run for every time that I do something that's now beyond my PCs puny processing prowess... like playing minesweeper or using Capslock.

A swift change in directional momentum caused by a solid punt seems like the best solution right now. On second thoughts, does anyone have a sledgehammer?

Procrastination for the Nation!

One month exactly of having a blog. Zero comments. Zero readers. Six profile views. One Domain registered. I'm the number one Google search result for Voodoo Tofu. But Zero posts. Productivity is not going as planned... mostly because I've been stuck at my stupid desk doing my stupid job in stupidland, home of the stupidhead people... but that's going to change. I dedicate this post to Productivity and many future blog posts.


But I also dedicate this post to procrastination, lazing, day dreaming and the general praise of idleness. Because... well... why the hell not? After all, time that you enjoy wasting is never time wasted at all. Forget pills, yoga and channeling your chi... the one reliable way to live longer is to do less... and relish every second of it! So slow down!

So I say!... sally forth... quit your job... renounce personal hygiene... if your beard isn't obstructing your vision yet then you're good for a few more weeks... buy tracksuit bottoms and pretend that you don't know that slippers are for indoor use only... spend some quality time with your bed... eat fast food to leave room for extra slowness later... and if you hear anyone say those words: 'When are you going to...?', then you must respond with our new rallying cry: 'NEVER!!!'. For they may take our lives, and bailiffs may take the very floorboards that we sleep on, but they will never take our right to be idle!